normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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