He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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