bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
