$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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