Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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