I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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