It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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