what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
