i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize