I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
