It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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