i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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