Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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