All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
