just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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