But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize