Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
