nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
