I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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