# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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