Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
