Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
