i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
