i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
