They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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