We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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