i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.