the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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