can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.