a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
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How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.