Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
