Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
