How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
