Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
MIDGETS
????
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
