Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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