the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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