I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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