we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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