I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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