1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
