I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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