Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
