I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
