yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Say something about gay babies.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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