Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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