How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize