i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
