just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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