Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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