It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!