Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Got yourself a keeper right there.

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  (905): She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use. (416): Got yourself a keeper right there. http://tfl.nu/t8iu
  Replies (26) Good night (4904) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  never. drinking. again.

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  lets not get ahead of ourselves.

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  (705): never. drinking. again. (1-705): lets not get ahead of ourselves. http://tfl.nu/le2c
  Replies (36) Good night (5152) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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  (517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy
  Replies (55) Good night (4966) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.

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  (952): history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/1q62
  Replies (17) Good night (6387) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8352) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3147) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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  (917): She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for. http://tfl.nu/k05b
  Replies (7) Good night (3597) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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  (904): In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name. http://tfl.nu/nb8i
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.

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  (202): We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals. http://tfl.nu/d350
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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  (713): So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink. http://tfl.nu/45mq
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You okay?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

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  (412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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  (709): its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless http://tfl.nu/73du
  Replies (5) Good night (523) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Sounds legit to me.

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  (937): I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops. (1-937): Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them (937): Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them. (1-937): Sounds legit to me. http://tfl.nu/dn4f
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (216)

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