So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Fuck me I smell like cheese