I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing