You're a womanizer and a bitch.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE