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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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• (253): View more from Washington

  So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"

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• (805): View more from California

  I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm the Oprah of jello shots

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