Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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