some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
