I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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