went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
