if i can run in heels then i can drive
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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