i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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