Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
