i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I party with great urgency now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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