i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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