so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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