her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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