windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
