Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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