Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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