It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
