ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
